Meant to be Alone
by wickedrobotics
Summary: With every touch and kiss, her feelings grew despite her promise to him and herself. He comes to her, with her intending on spilling everything to him. A sudden bombshell leaves their meetings null and void. Christy/Randy


Her lips puckered as she turned her head away from his. She had broken her promise to herself. She had broken the promise to him. "Me and..her. We're, how do I put it, together." Randy spoke softly. This was unlike him to be unable to speak. The redhead's heart sank till it crashed to the floor. Again, she had let herself fall. Again, she had fucked it all up. Again, she had broken her own heart.

"I'm..happy for you." She spoke after a long eternity. In a moment, she had become the world's best actress. Acting like this didn't hurt. Acting as if nothing bothered her. Acting as if life was perfect. "Really. I am." She finally turned her head to face him. Her eyes read a fake stream of happiness. Her tongue ran over her teeth, right before her jaw tightly clenched. A sign of tension. A dead give away of her suddenly hate towards emotions and feelings.

"...So you didn't right?" He asked slightly randomly. He knew that she would know exactly what he spoke of. "It was fun, but I promised you and myself that I wouldn't. I don't break promises." She skirted around the question. She had fallen back in love with him, but she had managed to bury all feelings deep inside of her during their meetings. Every kiss. Every touch. It always sent electricy through her body. Clearly, those were one side effects. Christy stared off for a moment, as she leaned forward, and rested her elbows onto her knees. She gathered herself as she tried not to break down.

Managed to bottle it all up. Tonight. She had said to herself that she was going to tell him. She was going to just word vomit everything. Then he hit her in the gut with a bombshell. Completely unexpected..at least to her. Others had seen it coming from a mile away. She refused to believe it. She had been so clouded in her judgement, she was blind to everything. The pain she felt. He was back to being her blue eyed addiction within just a month. She wanted everything he was, wasn't, is, could be, and would be. Completely infatuated with him. But it was nothing she could have. She had been denied everything.

"I..I'm going to go inside. It's cold out." Christy stood as she pushed her hair to one shoulder and hid her face somewhat. He knew something wasn't exactly right. "I should..explain." He spoke, in the middle of standing. Her lips curled slightly, as she turned to him, a smile etched on her face. Who could believe it was real? Certainly not him.

"I'm not worth an explaination." She spoke softly, as she turned back to the door and walked slowly to it. To her, that was fact. She wasn't worth giving a chance to. She wasn't worth caring if her heart was ripped out and stepped on completely shattered there across the porch. She couldn't even fathom being worth an explaination. She could only wish. That she had been worth feelings. Worth emotions. Worth love in return. As she stood close to the door, one arm of her own wrapped tightly around her. The wind blew softly around her, cause her hair to cover part of her face. She turned her head slightly, as she gribbed onto he door handle.

"Goodnight Randal." Pulling the door open, she stepped through and within moments it shut behind her. She didn't know if he had said goodnight to her or not. At the moment, she couldn't hear anything. She managed to block everything from her mind. She bottled her feelings again. The tears she felt coming to her, the sadness the covered the now occupied home, the anger she felt towards her unablity to speak. She bottled them all again, and shoved them back down. Her mind clogged with thoughts, she slupped down the door as Carly, her oversize pit, took a spot where her feet stopped.

"Why am I so shocked...always wanting what I can't have..or wanting, what will only leave my heart broken."

She questioned herself as she buried her face into her hands. No tears fell. So much betrayal, bad relationships, falling for the wrong people had left her emotionally drained. Tears had all ran out, but it's not like crying helped anything. Her mind was completely fucked. Everyone she had loved, loves, and will ever love will leave her. There was nothing she could do about it. This was how she now thought. It was fact to her now.

She was meant to be alone. 


End file.
